my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”
when i was crying over my friend’s suicide in a stall i caught a girl taping me through the crack in the door and smiling so crushed her phone under my foot and walked out because i don’t fucking play that
white boys who respond to criticism of racism and sexism by ominously saying that there are ‘bigger problems’ scare me. like what is this big secret problem and why won’t anyone tell me about it? are we going to be eaten alive by mutant sharks? are oranges secretly poisoning us? who knows. the white boys, apparently.
|Me after receiving a very painful bee sting:||I hate bees!
|Bees:||*swarm of bees arrives*
|Bees:||NOT ALL BEES ARE LIKE THAT.
|Bees:||SOME OF THEM ARE PERFECTLY REASONABLE INSECTS.
|Bees:||BEES POLLINATE FLOWERS, YOU KNOW.
|Bees:||WELL, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALL GENERALIZING, I GUESS I'LL STOP MAKING HONEY.
"We’re all curious about what might hurt us."
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.
You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.
As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”
Aasif Mandvi interviews Fox Business commentator, Todd Wilemon.
"Why are you poor? Stop being poor. Be rich like me!" - Fox News commentators, GOP congressmen, and late night informercials on real estate flipping.